Bellanapping
by JBizz
Summary: What happens when Mike decides to kidnap Bella in another sad attempt to win her heart? Why is Alice acting gangsta' and is Emmett just a little fruity? Read and find out. ONE SHOT! A Jbizz and Leila Watson production. Twilight owned by the wonderful S.M


Ok so I don't own Twilight. I wish!! JASPER MY LOVE!

**_A/N: This is just a stupid story me and my friend, Leila Watson, and I made up. Enjoy this amazingly OOC story of random things we thought would be hilarious with a plot! HEHE!! P.S. I won't be updating my other story until I finish Breaking Dawn which I do not own either.  
_**

_**Bella-napping**_

**JPOV:**

"Jasper?" Bella asked. **(A/N Jbizz: Jasper is a hunk!) (A/N Leila: to you!)**

"Um, yes?" I said.

"Are you emo?" she asked, being totally serious.

I turned my head, as if in slow motion, towards her, "What?"

"Well I mean, you have all those scars and you're always so emotional. So...are you?" she asked again.

"No! Why on earth...Bella I have already explained this to you."

_maybe I am emo._

Woah! I didn't think that! What's going on?

"Edward! Why are you using your new power? To make me think I am _emo?_" I yelled. **(A/N: Leila thought it would be cool if Eddy could send messages thru mind)**

Then Edward walked out.

"Of course!" he said.

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_The next day_

**BPOV:**

Edward was hunting, I was sad. After school I headed down to work. As I was putting on my vest I heard Mike come in behind me.

"Hey baby!" Mike said, then covered my mouth with something that smelled rancid.

I was out like a light.

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"Alice! What are you talking about?" I yelled.

"I said...Mike kidnapped Bella! She's been Bella-napped homeboy!"

"Oh. NO! He. Didn't." I said, snapping my fingers over my head on the NO!.

"Holy shizzle! Did you just do the finger snap?"

"I sure did girlfriend! Now lets go get my fiance!!"

We ran for about 2 minutes then I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What the heck are you doing?" Alice yelled.

"Don't get all snippy! I'm letting Emmett and Rosalie catch up." I said, "How are they feeling Jasper?"

"Rose is pissed. Emmett is excited."

"Yeah Emmett is looking forward to kicking Mike's tushy." I said

"Did you seriously just say 'tushy'? Wittle Edward is such a pwude!" Emmett roared.

"Good you're hear. Let's move." Alice announced.

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_Meanwhile back at Mike's_

**BPOV:**

OMC! Why on earth am I in Mike's house, in the middle of his kitchen? Oh god! Here he comes!

"Hey there beautiful." Mike said.

"Go to hell!" I spat at him.

"So stubborn. Well I suppose you would like to know why I have taken you. I guess it is because I am so friggin' tired of that stupid Cullen piece of crap always touchin' you and the sight of him kissing you makes me gag. So what _you_ are going to do is marry me and leave Cullen."

"In your frikin' dreams Mike the Dike!"

"Language dearest Bella!" Edwards voice boomed through the room.

"Ha ha!" I yelled.

"What?" Mike asked just as Edward and the rest of his super amazing uber-awesome family (except Carlisle and Esme) stepped through the broken door.

"You're about to get your butt kicked!" I cackled.

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**EPOV:**

"Yes, yes you are!" I roared.

"Oh yeah!" Mike shot, "Come. And. Get. Some!" he challenged, crouching stealthily into the praying mantis pose. Suddenly Alice was in front of Mike, slapping him.

"What the heck woman!" he yelled.

I grabbed Bella and raced out of there. I didn't set her down until we were in my room.

"What did he want?" I demanded. Bella was on the bed.

She looked down at her hands. "He wanted me to marry him and leave you."

"Seriously?" I thought he'd wanted proof. About _us._

"Yeah"

"I'll be right back"

"Where are you going?"

"To mess with Mike." I smiled.

Bella sighed.

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**MikePOV:**

Alice kept beating me. "Stop! This is insane!" I yelled.

"Fine." Alice pulled back.

_Hi_

Wait I didn't think that! "Did you say something?"

Alice looked at Emmett "No" she said.

_I am your conscience!_

I have a conscience? "What?!" I yelled

Alice giggled. Emmett roared with laughter.

_I feel guilty for trying to force Bella to marry my._

"I do?"

_Yes_

"Okay." I looked at Alice, "I'm sorry for kidnapping Bella."

Emmett spoke, "Seriously dude, you are creeping me out."

_I want to kick Emmett in a certain area._

"Cool" I got up and walked toward Emmett. Alice knocked me out of the way.

_I want to tell Alice that I love her._

"Why?"

_Because I love her._

I turned to Alice, "I love you Alice."

She laughed, "It's so much funnier when you actually say it."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Then she was in front of me.

"Mike." she whispered.

"Yes?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Micheal! May the force be with you!!"

"What?"

"Now! Be gone!" then she clapped her hands and vanished.

_Is she a Jedi?_

"Wait Alice! Do you know Obi Wan? Can I have his number?!"

That is when Emmett said...

"Like _oh_ my gosh!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight." I said. Then walked back into my kitchen.

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**BPOV:**

"Edward, what was that?" I asked once he got back.

"Well, that was Newton being a total ass hat."

"Ass...you know what, I don't even want to know."

Then Alice busted through the door with Emmett.

"Hello, people of the Cullen house!" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett why are you so happy?"

"Cuz' I love messin' with Mike."

"That was off the hizzle fo shizzle!" exclaimed Alice.

Edward started to open his mouth, to explain, but I cut him off.

"Like I said, I don't even want to know."

Jasper **(A/N Jbizz: My love!!) **walked in.

"Why do I suddenly have the urge to say 'fo shizzy'?" Jasper asked.

The room suddenly burst out into a fit of laughter.

_**Nobody said this was good. We were bored and I warned you that we made them OOC. These were our random thoughts. **_


End file.
